A couple blog posts ago I wrote about some of my emotional challenges in starting this ministry. The biggest one is fear, and my FLIGHT-not-FIGHT reaction.
This emotional response was made even more real to me a few nights ago when, walking from the bathroom toward my bedroom, ready to climb into bed for a good night's rest, I saw a snake on my bedroom floor.
Yes. A snake.
It was about two and a half feet long, black, and about a half inch in circumference.
My heart began racing. Do I chase it down and try to kill it with... with what? Do I call the dogs in? What if it's poisonous? Before my mind could run through all of the possibilities, Mr. Snake slithered under my bed.
Yes. Under my bed.
No, I did not run and get something to kill it with. But I did run. I closed the bedroom door behind me. I texted my husband, who was out of town. I needed someone to know!! I scurried to my mother's bedroom to see if she was awake. My mother is VERY frightened of snakes. I would not wake her and torture her with this knowledge. Finally I called animal control. And I waited.
Almost 2 hours later, animal control showed up. The snake was nowhere to be found.
There is a lesson in this...something that I am obviously still struggling to overcome, both in this situation (three days later... still no snake) and in the case of all of my fears: Running away is just a form of delaying the inevitable: facing my fear. And there is no comfort in delay. None.
How are you handling your fears?
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