But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,”
lest you fall into judgment. - James 5:12
Have you ever been talked into doing something you didn’t really want to do? How does that happen? Is it because the person doesn’t know how to take "No" for an answer? Or is it because you don’t know how to say "no"?
Such a simple word. So hard to say!
Recently I went to the mall to take something back that I’d purchased online. Can I just say right here that I hate malls?! While I was there, I ran smack-dab into one of the many reasons WHY I hate them! I was walking back toward the exit and was accosted by ... dum dum DUM ... a kiosk person.
Just a few minutes before, I had successfully talked my way out of an encounter with someone from that same kiosk after she asked me if I used hair products. Well, that’s one blessing of having alopecia! I could easily say, “No. I wear a hair piece!” and make my getaway. Whew! But, because it’s a mall… had to walk right back by the same kiosk to get to my car. So I tried using the same objection as the young girl held up a little sample and beckoned me to try it.
“I don’t use hair products. I wear a wig.”
“But this isn’t hair products. Come… let me show you.”
I know these tactics… They engage you with questions, sucking you into the black hole of their endless sales pitches. The young girl kept apologizing for her accent. She was from Israel, and sometimes she was hard to understand. I admit to being intrigued by her. She was sweet and I didn’t want to be unfriendly, especially to someone who had come all the way from Israel to stand in a mall kiosk and face rejection all day long.
You see what just happened, right? I projected my own fear of rejection on to this young girl. It’s one of my biggest struggles. But I doubt that Nicole was worried about personal rejection. She was there to sell beauty products and had been taught how to overcome objections. It was a science to her, not a heart issue (Yes, of course I found out her name. Yes of course I remembered. I wouldn’t want this stranger to feel rejected!)
The saga continued as she pulled me in to demonstrate her products. “Wait til you see this! You’re going to be amazed!” and then “Well? Do you like it or do you love it?”
All the time I stood there, I knew I was helpless prey to this young girl with the quick tongue and aggressive tactics. But rather than use that big multi-syllabic word that’s SO hard to pronounce: “no,” I continued to answer her questions, let her slather products on me, and hand her my credit card.
Oh, I put up a resistance, for sure. I chose the less expensive product; so she said “what if I give you TWO of these (the more expensive product) for the price of one?” Well, gee, that did seem like a good deal. It's a good thing I put up a resistance!
Admittedly, the product was a good one. But I had not entered the mall that day to buy lotions and potions. I was actually trying to exhaust my own supply of them before buying any more. But that Dead Sea salt was amazing. No really!
After I had reached my financial limit AND my time limit, Nicole pressed on with another product. It was an intriguing one, to be sure… a facial mask that you removed with a magnet. I could see a visible difference in my wrinkles after she used it on me. But the gift card I had used to purchase the other items had already reached its maximum, and I wasn’t about to purchase another expensive product. She kept lowering the price so that it was actually… ahem… below her cost.
Frankly, I could have afforded it, but I continued to say “I’m out of money.” Sometimes she would even grab me by the hand and coax me back over to the kiosk. “Jackie, you’re killing me. You’re killing me.” But I was getting impatient. I needed to get out of the mall before the traffic got bad. Who knows how long I had been there! I recalled saying I only had a few minutes…hadn’t she heard me?
Well, of course she had. But she’s trained to get past my objections. She was a friendly girl, but not the least bit empathetic. She was, however, counting on me to be.
I hated walking away without saying goodbye. I had run out of excuses. If “I’m out of money” wasn’t good enough, then I was going to have to use that great big, multi-syllabic, hard-to-pronounce word: “No.”
So I firmly said, as she was looking away (she knew when to use eye contact and when not to)… “I’m going to have to say no.” I touched her shoulder. Said “goodbye,” and walked away. She looked up and called after me. “Don’t leave without a hug.” So we hugged.
Amazing. I said “no” to someone, and she hugged me.
Now how hard was that?
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