The first sentence Jesus speaks in John's Gospel is "What do you seek?" It is my fervent prayer that my ministry will be one of the avenues by which you will find what you seek. Be it comfort or laughter, rejuvenation of spirit, or a quiet restful moment with Christ... whatever it is you seek, I pray that you will find His Truth.
Perhaps more importantly, I pray that you will realize that God seeks YOU... has always sought you... will never stop seeking an ever-more intimate relationship with you. I pray that you will stop. Stop running. Perhaps you don't even realize you're running. But we all do it. We think we have answers to all of our questions and needs' at least anything God could provide for us. So we go along our merry way' pretty sure that we've 'got it,' while instead we are 'seeing through the glass darkly,' as C.S. Lewis describes it.
We are the ones who stray... through our own fault or simply because we've been led astray by the enemy's age-old lies which have permeated our thoughts and ruined our vision. I feel that all my life I have been looking for a better pair of glasses through which to see God, and just when I think I've got the right prescription, the lens gets scratched, or the nose piece starts irritating me.
I want to see through the glass clearly! In fact, I don't want to look through a glass at all! I don't want a fuzzy vision of Jesus. I don't want a cool idea about who Jesus is. I want Jesus.
Having that intimate relationship is going to require more than simply buying a new pair of glasses. I'm going to have to repair the lens of my own mind, which may require some grinding and smoothing, some shedding of old thought processes that kept me from the whole Truth. I think this is what Paul refers to as "renewing your mind."
It's going to require stepping out of my comfort zone. As you likely know, launching this ministry has been quite a "stepping out." (Can you say "phone phobia?") Discomforting, to say the least. Fear of rejection...actual rejection... Not fun! But God has blessed me with a wonderful ministry family, and together we will do what is set before us. I can't exactly compare this discomfort to being stoned or shipwrecked, can I? And the more I walk this out, the more natural it will become.
It's also going to require shedding layers of self. Ouch. Yes, there are parts of me I would gladly shed. But there are other parts that I have been rather fond of, and have even taken pride in. This is not going to be easy. But what I seek is worth so much more than the required price. I am seeking Christ...in me.
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